Friday, October 17, 2008

Where is home?

I have lived quite a few places since I turned 18 and most of that time, no matter where I was actually residing, I considered "home" where my parents/family was.

I suppose I still do, to some extent, think of my parents house as "home". But now that I have a family of my own, "home" has extended a bit.

I dislike the uncertainty with which we are currently living our lives. Since before we were married, Loran's bosses have been saying we will move. And they still are saying it, with no definitive date set. And with a new administration around the corner, I doubt anything will get settled in the near future.

There are times I when I get so frustrated with the whole thing that I guess I just stop living my life where I am, right here, right now. I want to get "settled" somewhere so badly that I forget all of the wonderful things (and people) that are in my life currently.

I have a wonderful extended family that keeps in touch all the time. I have good friends here and a support network that I know that we could count on in any situation.

I cried last night watching Abby leave the E.R. Is that weird? After 10 years of regularly seeing people, I suppose you get attached. Or maybe I am just really hormonal. Who's to say?

Ugh, at least the girls are getting back to themselves. It is amazing how everything can be thrown off when the babies don't act in their "normal" way. But then again, what is normal, right?

Sorry for the rambling. I am homesick, but I struggle with the fact that maybe I should spend more time making meaningful friendships here, for however long we ARE here.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

When Jonathan and I moved to Georgia, it was supposed to be a 3 year (5 max) stay, after which we would go "home." At some point, this became home and ten years later, we're still here.

Now, with the new baby on the way and Jonathan looking for a better paying job, the idea of NOT living in Georgia feels like leaving home.

I've finally realized that anywhere that Jonathan is (and any doodles with which the Lord may bless us) is home.

Joni M said...

Oh Tara--Kacie's Mom here--even though I've never met you, you and I have a lot in common re this unsettled time you are now living in, and of which happened to me years ago...We had 5 major moves in 7 years in the early years of our marriage, some of which about the time Kacie came along. So I know first hand how difficult it is to be away from family and home, as well as make new relationships with people knowing you probably won't be around very long. But girlfriend, hold on to today, pay attention to the blessings the Lord has bestowed on you in the friendships you do have, and when it is time to move on from this place, never ever say goodbye, you say so long because you never know when your paths may cross again...I'm so sorry you are so homesick. I've been there too and there were days when my heart was just so heavy, so I can really relate. Because I've been exactly where you are, I just encourage you to call Kacie, or Jawan, or any of the gals from church when events get you down, for there is nothing like solid Christian women fellowship to help carry you through this tough time, and just get out and have some girlie fun...because I know too that Kacie gets pretty lonely as well. So the phone call you make won't only end up being a blessing to you, but to the friend on the other end of the line as well...I sure hope I can meet you one day, because as mid-westerners, I'm sure we most likely have lots in common, not just the sadness we've felt in being away from the home place and those we love, but because of the area we are from...Anyway, pick yourself up today, call a friend to make a girlie date, and share your burdens my dear, for there is strength in numbers and it appears you so need a lift this day. Make the call, set a time for you to take some time for yourself and a friend or two, and share your heart with someone for then the burden won't be quite so heavy to bear...Lastly, just take care my dear, and know I'll be praying for strength for you this day...

Ang said...

Tera, we can hang out anytime you want. I am extra lonely during my days sometimes since Jim is gone even though I stay busy with the kids...adult conversation is always appreciated :o) If my mom wasn't here I'd be more homesick too and probably up there right now with Jim away. Hope you are feeling better and having a good weekend.